Sunday, September 07, 2008

What was supposed to happen…

When Keith told me he was going to provide the family with a DVD of our father’s memorial service, I asked him if he could include an audio copy of my original eulogy. It had run too long but I still felt it gave a better sense of our relationship, how I felt, and what I wanted to say than my second, shorter draft.

He said he would if I provided it for him. Blanche gave her blessings.

Today, however, just as I was about to begin… intelligence crept in. I began to think about what I was doing. And it came down to this: You don’t eulogize someone twice. You just don’t. You go on with your life. The only person who would get anything out of my repetition of the original eulogy would be me… and Dad would have liked it, too, of course – he would have loved the idea of a world constantly eulogizing him after his passing! But, for anyone else, it would have been unnecessary and unwanted.

I’ve eulogized my father. I’ve done just about everything but cry about my loss – I know how much I need to; I just haven’t. I’ve heard jokes I know he would have enjoyed. I’ve told jokes I know he would have told. (Simply eating “Ass-per-Agus” is excuse enough.) So, I’m going to let my original eulogy go, stop mourning and start enjoying.

But, if you’re interested, you can find a copy over one One Path, warts and all.

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