Thursday, May 29, 2008

Employment – I got a job!…

Yep, the long – though not so long as last time, believe me – ordeal of being unemployed is finally over. On Monday, I’ll be starting work at – surprise – a networking company, one of Linksys’ competitors, funnily enough. I won’t be a writer but will, again, be involved in product management and marketing. It looks like my life as a professional writer is fading into the distance… a moment of silence, please.

Once I start seeing some money rolling in, we’re looking forward to donating a couple bucks to Jenn’s 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer. (Now, honestly, I could make a joke here but it’s just so obvious, you know? Why bother? You know what it is. Why should I tell you? Let’s just gets past it.) (No, I don’t think I’m above it, I just think it’s pointless. I mean, it’s so easy. You’ve already thought of it yourself so there’s no need for me to repeat what we both know is coming.) (What? Yes, of course, all the other readers know. It’s an obvious joke! They get it. Trust me.) (So, we’re clear, then? I can move on? No need to make the joke? Okay. Good. Thank you.) Why she wants to send Breast Cancer to summer camp is beyond me but I’m looking forward to helping her achieve her goal.

It’ll be nice getting back to work again… I’m looking forward to my first vacation…

Saturday, May 24, 2008

And now… no WoW???…

I was met with a rather shocking surprise this morning when I went to log onto World of Warcraft (WoW, dont’cha know?), a message telling me my account had run out of time which spelled no more WoW for the Ken.

It is truly a sad, sad day.

When I checked my account online, I was not surprised to see that I’d been playing WoW since 2005. Maybe I should have been. The thing is it’s been a while and I really enjoy it – BUT I am out of work. I can’t really afford to purchase more time.

Now, those who play are probably wondering about what will happen to the stuff I have at the Auction Houses. Mail only sticks around for 30 days. This seems to give me a built-in time limit. So, I decided to take the next 30 days off from WoW. Hopefully, in that time, I’ll get a job and all will be well.

Until then… well… I’ll… shit, what do people do???

Monday, May 19, 2008

Globally Tepid…

This right-wing dick I know – he’s my step-dad, so trust me on this – gave me a hint on the now stance people who were too selfish and petty to listen to reasoned people about global warming will take now that we’re beginning to feel the effect of global warming. (And, believe me, the party is just starting.) He said, “We’re just going to have to accept that this is how it’s going to be.”

No shit? We can’t, like, reduce our pollution? Maybe change our attitudes? Perhaps, make some sacrifices? Now that the world is completely fucked, it seems obvious that the folks who wouldn’t do anything to prevent global warming are the same folks who won’t get off their asses to reduce it.

Sometimes, it’s embarrassing to be in the same race.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Bumpersticker for today...

Read a book.
Republicans hate that.

Happy Anniversary…

In just a few days, I’m going to experience an anniversary – or, at least, what would have been my 20th wedding anniversary with Rosa Piedra. Twenty years ago, I stood in front of my dad, Rob, Sean and… not a whole lot of people, actually, and vowed never to leave her.

I did.

And I’ve been thinking about this. I’ve wanted to get it off my chest – how this is affecting me – but I anticipate that most of my readers with voice their dissatisfaction with me (never in the Comments, though… yeesh!) for even mentioning it… as if I’d forgotten that I am now married to Vicky.

Folks, she’s upstairs in bed. I had dinner with her tonight. I know we’re married.

I wish that wiped the slate clean. It doesn’t.

This is very difficult to explain. On one hand, it’s hard to imagine I was ever married to Rosa. After all, Vicky and I have a past, present, and a future all planned out; how could anyone else have ever existed in my life? But then I think about how Rosa and I had a past, present, and a future ready to experience together. It’s a fragmenting thought and it splits me down the middle. On one side, here I am with Vicky, happily living our lives. On the other side, there’s the part of my that died back then when I lost Rosa. And it doesn’t make sense. How could I be happy with Vicky today if I died back then?

Time doesn’t flow in a straight line. I wish it did. I wish my life was like a list of things and people to do. That way, I could have scratched Rosa off the list before meeting Vicky. But Rosa keeps turning up – thanks to my overly-active mind. Knowing we didn’t make it reopens old wounds all over again and I feel the pain of losing her all over again – and this happens ever so opportunely and conveniently while I’m trying to focus my affection on Vicky, because I really don’t feel like saying to my wife, “No tonight, honey. I’m hurting too much over losing Rosa… nearly a decade ago…” Seriously, how fucked up is that?

And the thing I realize is that the Rosa I loved doesn’t even exist any more. She’s gone. The physical person has changed, even her bodily cells have all been replaced. And the spirit I loved may not have even existed to begin with, as I am reminded when I think back on when she perjured herself in court and tried to hurt me even worse.

So, I am haunted by the memory of someone I may never have known.

I hear her voice sometimes, calling my name, especially in these early mornings when I can’t sleep. I try to remember the ways she hurt me, but it’s harder to think of those things while also realizing how I am forgetting he voice. The ghost is fading. And how weird is it that I mourn losing even that?

I don’t want Rosa. I just want to stop feeling the pain of losing her… and then I realize that the pain is all that makes it real, nothing else exists.

Vicky and I were talking about multiple universes the other day and, with that in mind, I think it’s important to realize that in some other universe, Rosa and I are still together and I am wishing her a happy 20th anniversary. In some universe, she and I never met and Vicky and I still found each other – maybe I’m even employed. Hell, why not? – and this date means nothing to me. This is neither of those places. In this universe, I lost Rosa and found Vicky and I am left to reconcile those two incontrovertible realities on my life. Vicky has brought joy to my life and being with her makes me immensely happy but that doesn’t erase my history. No, that’s just not how life works.

Life works like this: Ken and Rosa, twenty years ago, got married. I want to send them a wedding gift, telling them to embrace every moment of their lives together because they are finite, short, and fleeting. I can’t, of course. Instead, I’ll tell Vicky, just as I’m telling you.

Happy endings are an illusion. Happy Nows are what we should all hope to get.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Oh really?...

There's been this video hitting the Internet(s) about Bill Orally many years ago. I wasn't going to post it until I saw what the folks at Barely Political (dot calm) unearthed.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Waiting on that call…

Unemployment sucks.

You can quote me.

I interviewed two weeks ago for a job and haven’t heard a thing. Oh, I followed up last Thursday and was told that I should hear something this week.

What I don’t think they realize is that telling someone who is out of work and desperate for a job that he’ll hear something this week is the same thing as chaining me to the phone! I’m watching the damn thing 24/7, waiting for that call. And the call could be a “We thought you made a good candidate, but…” kind of call.

I’m going crazy.

The worst part is I’m also thinking that if they do hire me, I hope they don’t want me to start right away because I could use some R&R from all this stress…

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Drunk on margaritas and old age...

One of the benefits of getting older is we know that mid point between "pleasantly drunk" and "embracing the toilet for all we're worth". After a while you learn to start drinking water and, whatever you do, not lie down whatever you do.

So, here I am. Drunk on margaritas and drinking water, hoping to work my way past the worst of it - because I'm far too experienced to be clutching the toilet for dear life...

So, here's a question... you ever been so drunk that you can't watch TV because it makes you even more nauseated.. damn, this sucks...

Friday, May 09, 2008

It's Finals Week...

Question: Aristotle comes to his psychology from a very different direction than Plato does. Discuss their differing accounts of the nature of the psyche.

Answer: Aristotle and Plato are long dead and best left to rest in their graves. Isn't it past time we stopped trying to exhume the past for our own gains? Shouldn't our ancients be respected and left to rest?

... hmmm... probably not going to work...

Answer: Dana Plato and Aristotle Onasis both took very different approaches to Psychology. Dana Plato's spread in Playboy was very Freudian, for instance, while...

... hmmm...

College sucks.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

This is how sleepwalking fucks with you…

12:30am… this morning…

I awake, suddenly remembering the two final things I need to write down on my list. Sure, it’s the middle of the night but I’ve been working on my list and I should write down these final, two things. Anyway, if I go back to sleep, I’ll forget them and then where will I be?

Okay. Okay. So, I get up, get dressed and start walking down the stairs.

It’s at this point when the final two things become kind of fuzzy in my head, the two items that were so clear to me just moments before.

In fact, as I near the bottom of the stairs… I realize… something… else…

And, standing at the bottom of the stairs, it’s clear to me that there was no final, two things! In fact, there was no list! Once again, I’ve fooled myself into waking up!

And now, here it is at 3:30am and I’m still awake.

… I figured I’d share it, make my waking up somewhat worth it…

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Saying for the day...

Remember:

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid questioners!