Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The most ironic book title... ever...

Power of Less, The: The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential...in Business and in Life

... not if you buy it... fuckers...

The end of "Green"...

This may be old news to some but I figured that, with 2008 fading into memory, it's time we retired the term "Green", too.

Let's face it. "Green" has become a marketing term. What used to refer to something being at least less harmful for the environment, has been reduced to so much lip service.

My company, for instance, has a line of "Green" products. They're determined to be "Green" because they use less power than other products... but please don't ask for relevance. It's pointless, meaningless, crap. Ignore it.

We need a new word for "Green"... or we need to smack people who fuck with language...

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Fallout 3... a quick review... amended...

If only it didn't crash every FIVE FUCKING MINUTES!!!!

(It's not a defect; it's a feature...)

Friday, December 26, 2008

Fallout 3... a quick review...

Oh, yes!

Oh, shit yes!

HOLY MOTHER OF COCK! YOU'VE LIT MY BALLS AFLAME!

AND IT IS GOOD!!!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Never fucking cute enough...

"Rom-coms have been blamed by relationship experts at Heriot Watt University for promoting unrealistic expectations when it comes to love."

I've been saying this for years and now somebody has done a study.

I'm right.

Just look at it. How the hell can anyone live up to these damned things? I'm a guy who has spent his life being taken for granted, taken advantage, all the while towing the immense expectations romantic comedies expect us to live up to! I guess it's good timing, then, because this is one guy who is getting tired of trying to live up to the perfection romantic comedies say I'm supposed to provide. Hey, at best, I'm flawed. I'm sick of these movies telling women that they shouldn't settle for someone who isn't rich or perfect.

Now to take on those fucking sports films...

Friday, December 12, 2008

Coming down to who you trust...

Now that the GM/Chrysler Bailout has been killed by Senate Republicans, I guess the question comes down to "Who do you trust? The UAW, that made concession after concession, or the Senate Republicans, whose intent to destroy the union is on record?"

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I mean Intentional Ones...

You know what you never see?

Wedding Clowns.

(That's all I have on that one... for now, at least...)

How do I get myself into these things?...

The subject heading is a misnomer, sarcasm at best.

This morning, I didn't get much of a chance to hear my alarm go off. Vicky startled me with, "Turn off your alarm!" and I did... and fell back asleep...

I got a call about a replacement being needed for a show that was already having performances. It was a show I'd already done, so everyone assumed I'd know my lines. Of course, once I got on stage, this little, dinky box stage that was deeper than it was wide, I needed to constantly refer to the script so obviously it was embarrassing.

"Tell me now! Tell me what I did was right! Tell me before I plunge this dagger through my heart!" This was only followed by a "shuffle shuffle shuffle" as I scanned through the script for my line as she held the knife aloft, dramatically, ready to plunge it... "Um... Yes. You did."

It was a play about vampires and I was dressed in the layered outfit with a huge overcoat on top. It had to be huge, cause so was I! I was fat, slow, forgetful, and unable to maneuver through the simplest exchange. Soon, I realized all of the other actors carried scripts as well and we were being booed. Then, Act One ended.

I couldn't believe it. "This is crazy," I told the director. "Absolutely crazy. I'm better than this! I know I am! This is inexcusable!"

"So? What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I'm going to go through the script and memorize the lines!" I told him.

There were some further exchanges in there about football players at halftime being pissed off because they weren't playing to their fullest potential and that was me. I knew I had only 15 minutes at most to memorize Act Two and I scanned through the script but I couldn't find the lines. Page after page was covered in advertisements. The director told me that was the only way they could afford to print scripts any more.

And then, the curtain was coming up and I hadn't even found Act Two, yet.

And the lights were on me...

And I woke up. Grateful to be in my bed.

I knew I was trying to tell myself I was out of practice, out of shape, inexcusably absent from the stage... but, hopefully, when I do return, it'll go slightly better than that.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Ranting against Obama....

Here's the short version. Obama and Clinton went at it during the primary. Now, Obama appoints Clinton his Sec'o'State. And, when some reporter asks him where the big change came, he acts cute about it.

Now, listen, I support Obama but, more importantly, I support a change from the Bush years. And if there's one thing Bush was great at was getting all cute instead of answering questions. We don't need that.

But here's what really got to me...

I was reading Huffington Post today and there was a story about how Campbell Brown took offense at Obama's response. I understood; I felt the same way. But I was appalled at the comments by the readers, supporters of Obama, who employed the same vitriol and took the same umbrage with reason as Bush supporters have whenever he's been asked a question during these past eight years. What the hell is that? Folks, it's one thing to support Obama but, when he does wrong, it is up to us to call him on it. Even if it's just between us and never reaches his ears. Because the tiny voices of many can be a roar that keeps him on the straight and narrow.

The last thing we need is a bunch of blind followers. That's what led us to Iraq, and torture, and our failed economy... and on and on... we don't need more.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Token Bro...

Backstory: Harley, our lovely little Maine Coon cat, has taken to napping on the stairs...

Mainstory: I was heading down the stairs in the dark the other night...

Pointtothestory: I broke my fucking pinkie toe!!!!

Harley was squished but is just fine.

Annie Potts in Designing Women starring in...

Vicky and I did something a little different Saturday night.

No, I'm not talking about "things you lube"...

Since I hadn't heard any feedback yet on Murielle's Big Date, we decided to give it a read ourselves. With four characters, Vicky would read two and I would read two. In the end, it was a lot of fun. It's a very funny plan.

The best part, though, was Vicky, because she felt it necessary to give each of her characters their own voice. One character she read in her own voice. The other character, well, had me laughing and laughing. Now, Vicky's not used to getting laughs so I think she took offense.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked.

"Because you sound like Annie Potts in Designing Women!"

And she did. It was fucking hilarious!

Writing this now, I realize she actually sounded like a cross between Amy Madigan and Annie Potts in Designing Women, which makes it even funnier!