Monday, January 12, 2009

Some things you just don't do...

And this entry will tell you how.

Seriously, I was in traffic school this weekend. You should never feel guilty about traffic school. Ever. But here I am. Ken... married... guilty...

I wouldn't even mention this except, well, I figure this is My Side - emphasis on MY - and I should be able to say these things somewhere, right?


Is it wrong to fall in love with your traffic school instructor?

Her name was Carla, and I didn't even notice her until she started speaking. Hell, I hadn't slept for three nights before; I was half asleep as I plodded in. But then, this little latina women, appearing like a cross between Vicky and Lisa Nelson (my first crush back in second grade), started talking about how a good perspective can create a positive attitude. She used the first half of the traffic school class like a motivational speaker! And, when I noticed her, I realized she was... making me think things a married guy wasn't supposed to think.

Listen, things between Vicky and I haven't been perfect lately and it's easy for me to think about insurance in case things get worse. But I wasn't going to make my admiration for this woman what this was going to be about. Because we have options. I can go right from "She's amazing" to "Let's see if she's single" and ruin my marriage in the process, or I can just stop at "She's amazing". And she really was. Beautiful, smart, funny... amazing... everything Vicky was when I first met her.

And the fact is, Vicky still is these things. Sure, I've got some issues with her aversion to exercise. There are some things I wish she'd work on. She isn't quick to give affection and she's often cold. And I'm starting to realize that I had some of these same problems with Rosa. But that doesn't mean I should hope Carla's going to be standing behind Door #3. Instead, I need to invest in the relationship I've got. So, I watched Carla do her thing and enjoyed watching Carla do her thing and actually enjoyed my day at traffic school.

Then, I went home to Vicky.

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