Bought a USB memory stick from Fry’s last week. $10.
Took it home and found out the whole thing was made of plastic. These things usually have some kind of metal in them but this one – nope. 100% plastic.
So, when I plugged it into my PC’s USB port, it bent.
They’re not supposed to bend. This one did.
Today, I brought it back to Fry’s.
I walked up to the guy at the “Customer Service” desk – watch out for that one. It’s a misnomer. I handed it to him and said, “Listen, all I did was plug it into my USB port and it bent. It’s not supposed to do that. I want to return it.”
He said, “We can’t return this. It’s broke.”
I said, “I know it’s broke. That’s why I’m taking it back.”
“But we can’t take back broken merchandise.”
I said, “I wouldn’t have taken it back if it worked the way it was supposed to. But it didn’t. It broke. That’s why I’m taking it back.”
“We can’t take it back. It’s broke.”
Obviously, he didn’t get the concept.
So, I asked to speak with his manager.
His manager came out with the USB stick in his hand and said, “You broke this. We can’t take it back.”
I said, “Look, I wouldn’t want to take it back if it didn’t break after putting it in my USB port. It’s not like I ran it over with my car. I used it for what it’s supposed to be used for and it broke. That’s shitty workmanship. I want to take it back.”
He answered, in a smooth, professional manner. “Well, you can’t.”
Okay, so this is about where I began to lose my patience. I asked, “Can I speak with your manager?”
“I am the manager!” Swear to dog, the punctuation is correct.
So, I replied, “You work for someone, don’t you? You don’t own the company, right? Do you?”
“Then, get me your manager.”
Off he went.
He came back with an angry, bald guy. “We can’t take back merchandise you broke.”
That was it. “So, you’re telling me that if shit falls apart after one use, you’re not going to honor your return policy?”
“We honor it – but we don’t take back broken things. All I can do is give you the manufacturer’s phone number.”
“You expect me to call Taiwan?”
At this point, the first manager, playing with the USB stick, snapped the bent part off.
I snapped, too.
Listen, I just lost my job. Things are pretty shitty. And these guys were dicks.
I used just about every swear word I know and I threw several things. Then, I left, screaming, “Fuck you, cock suckers!” It probably wasn’t my finest moment. But, seriously…