According to Yahoo – you remember Yahoo? Our best source of news outside of Fox? – well, according to Yahoo’s crack team of We’ll-take-anything-and-post-it-as-a-news-story professionals, al-Qaeda is 75% gone from Iraq!
I’d love to know how they generated this number, because they surely didn’t just make it up!
Next thing they’ll be telling us is that Shrub has 10% more intelligence or that his humanity has increased a whopping 12%!
God is 7% more true!
Republicans are 31% less likely to be petty, hurtful, greed mongers!
And monkeys are 2% more likely to take flight from the cusp of my sphincter…