Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Self Assertion...

I'm normally a very compliant kind of guy. Easy going. Ready to lend a hand. When people need help, I'm there for them. Anyone - my friends, my family, sometimes people I don't even like - I'm there.

But, you know what I'm just beginning to realize? Nobody is there for me. Nobody. I try to make a list of people who have been there for me in the last few years and I get nothing.

Now, listen, it's not like I'm not sympathetic. After I tried to kill myself, I'm sure people got tired of helping old Ken. But dammit, I've paid for that several times over by now and, quite frankly, I'm fucking sick of it.

So, I'm thinking about trying out the word: No. I'm wondering how that would feel for a change. Engaging in a little bit of self-interest. I'm not talking about robbing from the poor or anything; I'm just thinking it might be nice to stop trying so damned much to get the world to like me. Because, you know what? It doesn't work. It's not paying off. I get screwed every time.

So, I would warn you to watch out. Unless you're willing to give a little, Mr. Easy Going will be out of town for a while.

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