Friday, May 02, 2003

They say, "It's just going to hurt for a while."

It's so hard to live without hope.

A few weeks ago... about a month ago, Rosa and I were going to try to be together again. I made a couple of cds with hope for the future. They were so brimming with hope. Then, she dumped me.

It's a good thing that I realized that it's not because I'm a terrible person. I'm not that person, any more.

But hope comes from a different place, a deeper place. One is tempted, in such a case, to say that it comes from the heart.

If you broke your leg, people wouldn't say to you, "Well, that's gonna hurt for a while." If you were wounded, stabbed, no one would just say, "Wow. That's gonna hurt for a while." But when your heart is broken, it seems the only thing people can say to you is, "It's going to hurt for a while." It seems there's just nothing anyone can do in such a case.

But when you're hurting, when you're wounded, you need more than that. And it's terrible that there isn't anything more anyone can do.

A future without Rosa is so unimaginable to me. I don't know how it's going to be possible.

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