Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Things get crazier...

I know that if you look in this Blog (and, might I just say, what a word! sounds like you're vomiting!), you'll find days when I've been lucid, inspired, almost pithy and you'll also find days when I'm depressed, sad, mortally wounded.

This won't be one of the pithy days.

Right now, things are getting out of hand. Out of hand? Just plain nuts, to be exact! Watch:

1) After my collision a couple of weeks ago, I'm driving this monstrous Buick - monstrous for me, the guy who rode a motorcycle through most of his marriage. It gobbles gas and is no fun to park but my Honda should be ready to get sometime this week... I hope.

2) Whiplash! Have I mentioned I got whiplash? No kidding. And, hey, this is no fun, people! It hurts!

3) Have I mentioned that I miss Rosa? Well, that would be the understatement of a lifetime! What to say at this point? I can't live without the hope of us being together one day but also feel like it's cruel of Rosa to provide me that hope and no more. But then, is this hope just my own interpretation and not real?

You can probably understand that I've been losing a lot of sleep.

4) Love and Politics (a reading at the Hunger Artists Theatre on May 31 at 3:30pm - said the shameless-plug-monster) is a real bitch. First of all, there's a ton of material for a one-act play because it's mostly monologues... delivered by your's truly. Second, this material could probably have been written better by a 13-year old, blind, chain-smoking monkey with no arms.

... Did I say that out loud?

I'm supposed to limp throughout the entire play, something that I'm not too comfortable doing. Face it, you fake a limp that long - you could goof up. Switch legs, stop limping, whatever. So, I've found the solution. ROCKS! Yep, I'm putting rocks in my shoe. That'll make me limp... probably for a few weeks!

5) Whatever Happened to Me (a reading at the Chance Theater on June 15 at 8:00pm) is becoming more complicated every day. Now, I'm directing... casting... and I may be starring. More details will follow as I get them. Let's just say that, all things being equal, I'd rather be in Milwaukie, Oregon.

6) There's this girl at work, Gaelle. I'm trying to find out if she has a boyfriend. She's so cute, I've had to paint my tongue as a necktie so I don't stand out.

So, how do all of these things compare? How much stress are they causing me? Well, using the new Angst-o-meter (by DistressCo, "Doing our best to help you out so leave us alone!"), we can see just how much stress any given thing is causing me. The Angst-o-meter rates stress from zero to ten, zero meaning "No Stress" and ten meaning "MY HAIR IS ON FIRE!!!"

... Let's watch...

Driving the Buick: 4
Whiplash: 5
Rosa: 7,879,423,792,347,349,739,483,749,237,493,743
Love and Politics: 7
Whatever Happened to Me: 52
Gaelle: 3

Okay. For those of you who think I'm over-reacting, you're probably right. Driving the Buick ain't that bad.

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