Who can believe it's nearly July?...
Yep, month seven is coming 'round the bend and, quite frankly, I just can't believe it. What happened to those halcyon days when time went to slowly... oh, wait... I was on halcyon...
Not much to say this morning, I'll just break it down into a list:
1) With July comes a trip out to see Dad and Blanche in Arizona. They don't know about it, yet, because I haven't quite figured it out. But it will be soon because, if you're going to drive to the desert, July is the time to do it. Yep, I wanna melt! I want to see my paint drip off my car. I want to leave tire-tracks where my tires melt off their tracks!
2) Time-off time is coming to a close and it feels like it just started. Time-off and I have a love/fuck you relationship. I would like nothing more than to be one of those people who can do their jobs and go home to sink in front of the teley with a brewski. That would be fine by me! But, NOoooooo! I have to be one of these people who has to produce! Every day, I am driven forward by my own mortality. As if that happening in the abstract is not enough, I've actually been having the thought quite frequently, "One more day gone until you're dead." As if I needed a reminder!
3) Speaking of jobs, have I mentioned that I hate mine. I'm using the word "hate" here. I've never worked for a bunch so incompetent and unorganized and... lucky. Fucking lucky. If Linksys hadn't been bought out by Cisco, they'd be floundering. As it is, they have Cisco to bouy them up. While it never helped that the CEO's neice accused me of sexual harrassment, now - three years after it was proven that I didn't and one year after the neice herself publicly said I didn't - people still hate me, including the CEO. Needless to say, it's a painfully uncomfortable environment. Anybody hiring writers out there???
4) My sleep hasn't become any more regular, either. Recently, I've been losing my share of it over a thought that many of you will be surprised is just occurring to me.
I'm never going to get Rosa back again. Rosa's gone.
It's a thought that makes me want to vomit, it's so hard to take. To lose the only woman you ever truly loved - this is not something I would wish on my worst enemies, including those at Linksys.
And, so, that's my life as we near July. Maybe July will hold better things.... doubt it.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
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