Thursday, July 31, 2003

Something I was going to send to Rosa...

This song was in my head. It's a song that has helped me over the years try to keep my spirits up.

And I nearly wrote Rosa an email, telling her how painful life has been with me for the past three and a half years without her. How hard it is to live without her.

But I'm still alive.

Somehow, I'm still kicking. Even if I'm barely kicking.

I feel so isolated. Right now is really rough for me.

I don't know if anyone reads these words. Sometimes, I think I write this Blog just to myself, as a way of documenting things for myself. Is there anybody out there? (Ah, but that's a different song!)

So, without further ado, here's the song. It's by Jackson Browne - a huge THANK YOU to him for writing these words.

It's been a long time since I watched these lights alone
I look around my life tonight and you are gone
I might have done something to keep you if I'd known
How unhappy you had become

While I was dreaming of you
With my heart in your hands
And I was following though
With my beautiful plans

Yeah now I'm rolling down this canyon drive
With your laughter in my head
I'm gonna have to block it out somehow to survive
'cause those dreams are dead
And I'm alive

I want to go where I will never hear your name
I want to lose my sorrow and be free again
And I know I've been insane
When I think of places I could have been

But I was dreaming of you
With my heart in your hands
And I was following through
With my beautiful plans

Standing here by the highway side
Watching these trucks blow by
Inches from my face
Yeah thinking 'bout the time I've wasted
And the pleasure we once tasted
Looking up and down this road
I've been here before
Can't be here no more

Yeah now I'm rolling down California five
With your laughter in my head
I'm gonna have to block it out somehow to survive
'cause those dreams are dead
And I'm alive

Yeah, I've alive.

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