To my dearest child,
Now that you're a teenager, and filled with questions, towards the end of the second decade of the 21st century, I thought I'd take some time out and explain a few things to you.
I know you want to know about things like schools and health care and the world around us. Well, all I can say is, we got Bushed.
Why can't we afford to sent you to high school? Well, when your mother's job moved to Pakistan, all we had was my three part-time, minimum-wage, benefits-free, jobs to keep us afloat. But that still isn't enough to afford even the cheapest high school, even with vouchers. What can I tell you? Between "No Child Left Behind", the killer deficit, and fantastic trade agreements, we got Bushed.
Why can't you see a doctor? Well, you know my work situation. Benefits cost companies too much to offer all employees and I'm beginning to wonder what wisdom there is in keeping everything privatized. With the cuts to government aid, and no real attempt to create a health care system that worked despite all the talk, we got Bushed.
Why are we living in this apartment with so many other families? Well, my dear child, the idea of low-income housing was gone long before you were born, pretty much wiped off the face of the earth long before the 21st century. No attempt was made to keep good jobs here and after our economy was raped back in the first decade of this century, countries like China got rich as our country hemorrhaged wealth and we got Bushed.
But you can always join the army, my dear. I hear they're always looking for bright, young people. And, fortunately, they never reinstated the draft, so it doesn't matter how undereducated or sick you are as long as you can carry a gun. There's plenty of wars out there, for oil or water or what have you. They'll give you health care and maybe even educate you, too. So far, we've Bushed Afghanistan. We've Bushed Iraq. A lot of people got Bushed.
Oh, and sorry about the environment. Sorry, if you can't breathe. People told us, back in the early years of this century, that despite the crazy science we weren't doing any harm to our environment. If you could afford gasoline, you should burn as much as you could.
Sorry, child. We got Bushed.