Okay. Okay. Forgetting for a minute that she's incredibly beautiful, really smart, very funny, and a blast to be with, can I tell you something about Vicky that you might not know?
She's pretty cool, I gotta admit.
We're going hiking tomorrow. Some of you might not know about all the rain we got this week but Vicky's totally into the idea of hiking out there, rain or shine, mud or dirt, plastic or paper… uh, forget the last one. Anyway, that's pretty cool and I'm really looking forward to it. We're going to a place called Holy Jim Falls. Jim wasn't there to complain to last time I went and there were no falls (they'd all dried up) but there should be plenty this time. We'll be trekking through not only some wet ground but some running creeks as well. Yep, she's going to get her money's worth tomorrow!
And that's pretty great. It would be a great thing, if that was the thing.
But it's not.
We went out to buy me some running shoes a couple of weeks ago. I usually go to Shoe City because it's cheap and, well, what? You want more?! It's cheap! Sadly, that also means… well, it's cheap. No service at all. If they have any good shoes, you're lucky to find them! Sometimes, I get lucky. (Shut up, Tim.) When we went, though, it was crappier than usual and I walked out, shoeless. (Well, I was wearing shoes, but…) So, Vicky says to me that I should wait a couple weeks and we can go to a regular shoe store, one that sells good shoes, one that'll maybe even help you find them. It doesn't matter that I can't afford them - because she's going help me get them. Cool!
Again, that's great, too. But that's not the thing.
I got a call from Vicky today, asking me if I'd like to go to the Hollywood Bowl. Oh, god, I thought. What for? Motley Crew? Sonic Death Monkeys? What am I in for? So, she tells me. Garrison Keillor's going to be performing with the philharmonic - and she wants to take me. How cool is that? How thoughtful? I'm totally - if you'll pardon the '80's terminology - stoked!
And, yes, that's pretty great, too. But that's not the thing.
The thing is this. I could never tell you how much I love Vicky because, no matter how great a writer I am, I am completely incapable. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love her very much.
Thanks, Vic, for being so wonderful.
… And you're all mine!