I've decided to commit suicide tonight…

What? No, I'm not talking about the Grand Canyon! (Which now, as a book, is over 25,000 words long - BOO YA!)

I'm talking about the gym.

And now it all makes sense, doesn't it?

I've been running after work for a while now. I drive on down to the gym and run a leisurely 4.5 miles/hour or so. Well, I've decided that time is short and clothes are not nearly loose enough!

So!

Tonight, I'll be running at 5 miles/hour. Sure, this is about as faster as your garden variety snail but, for fat, old me, that's something. After 45 minutes of that, I should be ready to go home.

… but wait. How will I listen to my MP3 player if I'm running that fast? With my (CRAP) headphones, they'll fall right out!

What to do?

Oh, I know! I'll ride the bike for 1/2 hour after that so I can listen to my MP3 player!

… Those who thought I'd regained my sanity are now thinking again...