Wednesday, January 21, 2004

On Gyms and Morons...

As you may know, I started working out yesterday at the gym in my apartment complex. The plan was that I'd work weights there in the morning and do cardio in the evening at the old 24-hour jobber....

That was the plan...

The plan...

Fucking plan.

So, I got up this morning at 5:45am - I was awake BEFORE GOD! - pulled on my sweats and staggered off to the gym. By the time I'd crossed my complex and made it to the gym, I was wide awake. I thought of yesterday's short workout and wistfully felt a twinge in my chest from multiple reps. Yes, I thought. This would be good. I had given myself plenty of time for a 45 minute workout. I could even spend some time on the bike.

The door was locked. The fucking door was locked!

I tried it over and over. I couldn't understand what had happened!

Grumbling, I returned to my apartment to get ready for work.

After getting here, after I was sure my apartment manager was in, I called over to speak with the apartment manager.

"Good morning," I said, as pleasantly as possible so as not to surprise her into hanging up on me. (She does that.)


I gave her my name and my apartment number and asked, "Could you tell me when the gym is open?"

"I unlock it when I get in and lock it up when I leave."

"You mean eight to five," I asked.

"Some days I come in later," she informed me.

I knew I'd get no help if I yelled. I knew I'd get no help if I called her a blithering idiot. I knew I'd get no help if I threatened the life of her cat. "But I don't get it. There are no hours posted."

"No, we used to keep it open but we found out someone was using it yesterday morning before I got in."

"That's why you locked it up," I asked, loudly and incredulously.

"We don't -"

"You're locking it up because people were actually using it?!"

"Sir," she said in that manner that tells you that you just lost, "we have to keep it locked up for safety."

"So, the only time I can use the gym is during the day when I'm at work."

"Only if you work from eight to five."

"I do."

There was a pause and, for a moment, I thought she might be changing her mind. "I take lunch between 11 and 1pm."

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