I have a headache this morning so you'll have to forgive me. Yes, you will, too.
I'm about to write more stuff about Vicky and I can't help but think, "Who would want to read such tripe?" The answer, of course, is NO ONE. So, why do I write it? Well, considering I've been writing like this for over 20 years, I guess it's a little late to start asking stupid questions now.
Vicky and I are having problem. What couples don't? Vicky has this "you will" mindset that's beginning to drive me right to the edge. It's especially noticeable when it comes to the wedding. "You will wear this kind of tuxedo." "You will behave this certain way." "You will do this at this precise time." If she keeps this up, she'll be lucky to see me there at all!
I don't think anyone ever explained to her that giving orders, in any situation where you're in no position to do so, is a fast way of finding disappointment. Or, they didn't do a very good job. And, after a while, I begin feeling more like table-dressing than a groom. (You know, 50% of the wedding couple.) She never asks, "Could you?" She never says, "I would like it if." She never even tries, "I would like".
And, quite frankly, I'm getting sick of it.
This only becomes a problem when, after suggesting we talk over and over, she completely ignores me. Yes, obviously, we're riding two different rails here and, folks, I did that once. I'm not doing it again.
Maybe it's her upbringing. Her folks, wonderful people, are decidedly middle class. Mind you, when I first met them, I couldn't help think they were upper class but then I started reflecting on what "middle class" once met and…. They is that. But they are people who are used to quick requests in short terms, i.e. orders. My family is from the lower rungs of lower middle class - we considered ourselves "upper destitute". My mom had to beg and plead a lot. There was no, "Do the dishes." It was either "I'd really appreciate if you did the dishes. I had a rough day and will probably die if I do one more thing but if you want to live with your mother's death on your head, then…" or "Do the fucking dishes god-dammit! Can't you stop making my life hell?!" - very little in between. So, I'm not used to orders and, in fact, react very poorly to them. I'm more apt to do just the opposite! Requests I can consider and threats I can acknowledge but orders tend to get laughed at.
Vicky and I seriously need to work on how we communicate and I write this only because I know she's a reader. We need to work together. Seriously. And you know it's serious when I'm putting it out there for everyone to read.