It's over.
And I don't know how to say it.
I thought that I showing Rosa how much I loved her would make a difference. I thought that showing her how much I've changed would matter. I thought that being good to her and loving her and giving would...
Last night, Rosa told me that she's in love with Michael.
So, all this time, I've been in love with a woman who didn't want me, which is ironic. Why? Because Michael doesn't want her.
But she would rather have the fantasy of a man she can't have than have me.
Now, I don't know what's going to happen. She may decide that she wants me. She may realize she has no future with Michael. But I don't know how long that will take or when that will happen.
Until then, I have to learn how to live without what makes my life worth living... or, at least, I have to try... again.
... meanwhile, I've got that stupid Michael Bolton song going through my head - and that's just wrong!
Tuesday, April 15, 2003
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