Friday, September 05, 2003

We don't need no stinking WMDs!

WMDs. Remember WMDs? Weapons of Mass Distraction, er, Destruction. I know Americans have been stereotyped as having ant-like memories (that is to say: SHORT) but, surely, you must remember that. Shrub told us we were going to war in Iraq because they had WMDs! And they were pointed at us! And they were going to destroy the world! And take away our bagels! And mess up our TV reception! And, and, and... bring back NEW COKE!!!

Of course, there were no WMDs. Not a one. Never found one cause they never existed. (Keep this under your hat - neither did Osama.)

Now, John Bolton, undersecretary for the Department of Nepatistic Hiring Practices and Miniature Golf - seriously, he's such a minor official, I probably outrank him - says that WMDs were beside the point! "It really isn't an issue," he said. It seems that the US was justified in wholesale slaughter because Iraq COULD HAVE POSSIBLY MADE WEAPONS SOMEDAY! Obviously, Shrub is testing this theory with a lower-scaled official before he starts sucking that foot. Americans have short-term memories, anyway. So, the idea is that we'll forget who said it first.

Pre-emptive slaughter. Folks, hang your heads in shame.

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