What do you do after you "work work"? "Work", of course!
Well, we're in our final couple of weeks of "Play it Again". The British Bogart will soon be a thing of the past, the parties will be over, and it will be time to figure out what happens next.
As I've recently mentioned on this Blog, my life since Rosa has been filled with meaningless structure. I work, then I work, then I work some more. None of this is meant for some goal or to, somehow, make my future brighter - it's just to fill time, time that would otherwise be spent... thinking of Rosa.
After she and I first split up, I figured I'd be okay, my schedule adequately filled, if I performed in two shows each year. In 2001, I was in just so many: "Dial M for Murder" and "40 Carats". In 2002, I was writing as well as acting. That year, I finished writing "Everything Changes", wrote "Atheists", and acted in "Three Days of Rain" as well as the staged reading of "Everything Changes". I was slightly busier... but laughably sedate compared to this year. So far, in 2003, I've written "Whatever Happened to Me", written half of "This They Call Freedom", acted in the staged readings of "Atheists", "Love and Politics", and "Whatever Happened to Me" as well as "Play it Again". Yep. I've had a busy year.
Now, I'm considering auditioning for two shows on Monday and Tuesday.
This is troubling me - and I suppose I'm soliciting opinions here - Where's the balance? On one hand, we have the activities that help me not focus on Rosa. On the other hand, we have the free time necessary for rest. Should I keep myself busy, trying to obscure the thoughts of Rosa, costing me sleep and relaxation or should I take it easy during a time when all my thoughts are focused on Rosa, when I should be working?
Find the mean. This was Aristotle's advice and words I lived by when I was with Rosa. Since losing her, I've lost my way so far I can't begin to recognize the mean. It's lost to me, foreign. Maybe that was the first casualty of losing her...
Anyway... what to do?
Let me know if you have any thoughts on this.
In the meantime, I'll keep a coin ready to flip...