'Twas the Night Before Christmas
and all through the house
not a creature was stirring
not even a -
What was that?
Did you hear something?
Billy? Billy? Is that you?
OH MY GOD! Billy! You poured sulfuric acid in your eyes! Oh, fuck! The oozing, Billy! The oozing! I can't hold your eyes in - they're oozing over my fingers!
Margaret, call 911! Margaret? Margaret?! Take that gun out of your mouth! It's not as bad as that! Oh, god - NO! The bullet went right through your head and now my face is covered in brains!
(This message has been brought to you by the LGOC, lonely guys on christmas who are just sick of the fucking holidays. Thank you.)