Friday, July 16, 2004

This, That, and the Other

After reading My Side, my intent is that you'll be very impressed with the titles, if not the writing. My previous intent had been to attract loose women attracted to psychotically depressed men whose exes had babies with gay men... but I got that. (Ooooooh - I'm so kidding!)

So, let's start with a little This and That. (Other comes later.)

Last night, Vicky and I went to the Dog Park. (It had a witty name that, in my zombified state, I've forgotten.) As Suki went sniffing around (peeing around, pooping around, etc.), Vicky and I held hands, strolled with our arms around each other, and were generally a couple. It was so nice. I want you to hear something and then you'll see how very good I have it. (Yes, it entails Rosa. Just grit your teeth.) The first month Rosa and I were together, she broke up with me nearly daily. She hung up on me (on the phone) a couple times each day. She screamed at me, she insulted me... she was generally a bitch. (Richard Lind can attest. He tried to talk me out of every effort I made to make things work.) But I'd fallen in love with her and felt it could work with enough effort. Folks, enough effort got me 15 years of sporadic okay-ness, interspersed with major pain. Now, let's flip to that last month (yes, in a few days, Vicky and I will be celebrating our one month anniversary!). Vicky and I have had our disagreements and she made a serious effort for about a week to make me want to kill her but we talked things out and found common ground and didn't let ourselves get in the way of how good we feel as "us". So, holding her at the dog park, as innocuous and common as that may seem, reminded me again how good I have it.

Then, we returned to her place. She picked up a pizza for us (we had yet to eat and it was nearing 9pm) and we ate it over "Sex in the City". After, was held each other and talked. She's been reading all the My Sides and getting quite an opinion of me. (Nuts. Crazy. Obsessive. Dangerously sexual.) (Okay, just nuts, crazy, and obsessive.) We talked about some of the pain I've been through. (All of it is too much for two people. It's a fricking conference!) I said, "This has just been a lot to get through."

"That." she said.


"That. Past tense."

Oh my god. She was right. I was past tense. I mean, pining over Rosa ended months ago and, even before Vicky came along, I was starting to get comfortable with the sadness. But we've been together a month now. A whole month. And I've been happy. It's amazing. It's really a miracle in many ways. And it wasn't that I'd missed it, I'd just grown so used to pain and sadness and loneliness that I hadn't switched my tenses.

"That." I said, correcting myself.

Somewhere between this and that, my life has changed. You never see it when it happens. Maybe I kept expecting this to end that I'd missed the part where I decided I didn't want it to end. As shocking as it may seem, I've left Rosa behind. I'm done. I only had a short time to live in the present and now I've found my future. And if you don't think that's scary...

So, I guess it should come as no surprise that, with our anniversary coming up (stop giggling - one month is cool!), I've decided to take Vicky out on a nice, romantic evening. One month happened so quickly that we have yet to do that. It was like we met and were so happy to be with each other we forgot we could do that while spending way too much on a bottle of wine! We're going to Walt's Wharf in Seal Beach, a restaurant I've only taken my mom to because I wanted to save it for the right girl. Vicky is the right girl. (And one of these days, I need to change my noun usage. At 35, she's a woman.) We'll have a nice, quiet dinner, a walk on the beach, and some smooching on the pier to make the old folks uncomfortable. (We'll show you some kissin'!) (Great. Now, I'm quoting Jimmy Stewart...)

Ah, but it doesn't stop there, folks. Tomorrow morning, I'm looking at another place. This time, Vicky's coming along. Then, we're going to Costco together! Yes, domestic bliss. (He's talking scary again...)

After that, Vicky's headed out to Vegas with her folks and I'm heading to San Diego. If all goes as planned, I'll be kidnapping Tim to forcing him to make me martinis. Ah, yes. The good life! As much as I'm loving the time I spend with Vicky (and loving Vicky), it'll be nice to have an evening of debauchery with my old friend. And, so, to all my other old friends out there who can't make it - Sean, Tim, Robert, and Richard - I'll be sure to raise a glass to you (hey, that's four martinis - SCORE!) and wish you well. (And when you want to come over for martinis, just let me know.)

Well, there you go. All that was the "Other"... so I think I've covered it all. G'night folks.

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