As with most stories, this one's tough because I don't know where to start.
I'll start with last night. I'd just had what my dentist calls a "Deep Cleaning" but what she really should refer to as "Vengeance!" My mouth was hurting quite a bit and Vicky was doing what she loves to do. She was cleaning. "You can have this cherry yogurt if you want," she said.
And, so, I did.
I took it today for lunch and it sat in my cooler… being cool.
The cooler was given to me by Cindy, who you've all read about. I'm sure I mentioned her somewhere along the way. But I guess I never mentioned the cooler. Cindy had given it to me when I first got my apartment. To keep my lunch in, she'd told me, and so I did. It's actually one of the last things I have left from those days - and I'm glad to have it. It's something consistent, from a time that, though I don't particularly care about leaving it behind, can't leave me ahead fast enough!
Of course, I started snacking on my "lunch" well before lunch. After all, I was going to Best Buy at lunch to buy a new MP3 player. I wanted a new MP3 player to listen to my Audible books on. My current MP3 player didn't do that. Vicky and I went out to Best Buy last night and, of course, I bought another one that didn't do that. But I found another on line and, at lunch, I'd return the one from last night and buy the RIGHT one.
And so, there I was snacking on cherry yogurt. Actually, this Yoplait Light is more cherries than yogurt. It's a veritable bowl full of cherries and I love it!
Then, I saw I had an email from Cindy.
From Cindy?! I choked on my yogurt, practically choking to death on a non-solid… which would have been embarrassing.
Cindy's email said, "Drop dead in the deepest pits of hell, you son of a bitch! I hope your dick falls off and your brains get eaten by worms and your eyes bleed all before lunch! All before you buy your fucking MP3 player! All before you…"
Oh wait. I read it again. It said nothing like that.
I really should be wearing my glasses.
It was actually very nice, telling me I shouldn't be so hard on myself.
Cindy, you see, is a My Side reader, which just reinforces my belief (if mistaken) that My Side is THE MOST READ BLOG ON THE WEB READ BY THE FEWEST PEOPLE… or something…
So, there you go. You never know who's reading this thing. (And not writing comments. What the hell's wrong with you people, anyway?!) Teresa Alaniz could be reading it! Sean Mullin could be reading it! Rosa could be… but let's not think about that.
And, so, Cindy and I are talking once again. Vicky told me she doesn't consider Cindy a threat… but then she doesn't consider Selma Hayek a threat either, silly girl.
Oddly enough, she considers Tim Clostio a threat… which is probably why she hates him so...