My brain on life…

I don't have what you would call a close relationship with reality. My brain tends to do what it will no matter what the circumstances are. This started after my trip to the Grand Canyon; the whole thing kind of slipped my bonds with reality in a big way. There was one time, for instance, when I went into Weinershnitzel and talked to Teresa, though she wasn't there… not really.

I thought it had gone away, and it pretty much has. But yesterday, here at work, I took a drive through Washington with Rosa. It was a lot like the times I went to the Grand Canyon before I actually went to the Grand Canyon. You might even say it was like Billy Pilgrim becoming unstuck in time, because I know the trip happened nearly a decade ago.

You see, I never left my desk. But it felt very real. There I was, driving a Ford Taurus up through the mountains, and I looked over and Rosa was sitting beside me. In the next second, I was back at my desk, here at work.

So, you might say I have Fast-Track Authority to senility. Or, maybe, I get to enjoy things a bit more randomly than most people.

And so, I happened to be on the freeway this morning, heading into work. The freeway was wet; it had been raining. We weren't going that fast but the guy in front of me stopped abruptly and I tried to stop, too. But I didn't stop. I slid. I pushed down harder on the brake, and the wheels locked up.

There really wasn't anything I could do.

Suddenly, I was back at the gas station, where I'd stopped on the way. I had to wait for the car in front of me before I could pull up. And the woman pumping gas possessed the most incredible beauty and, yes, was a little plain. It was that "girl next door" kind of beauty, if Korea was next door (because she looked decidedly Korean). And then, I was standing over Vicky, waking her up before I left. She and I have been fighting recently and she wouldn't be too happy to hear I had another accident. Then, I was somewhere listening to the story of when I totaled that Saturn that I'd put on the "Ken 3.7" CD. In fact, I think that was blended in with looking at Vicky, almost as if someone had turned on the CD player for me, so all these things were blurring together.

And then, my car stopped. And I didn't hit the guy. There was enough room. The guy behind me nearly hit me! And I continued on my way.