This week continues its slope towards armageddon... I'm really expecting the asteroid to hit any minute now.
Yesterday, I left work early, feeling sick. This head cold's been going around work and zeroed in on me. Fun. So, I went home. I figured that, between nose blows, I could work on the CDs. Somewhere in the afternoon, I got an email from Michael, Rosa's guy. Opening it, I found myself looking at a picture of their baby. If that won't punch you in the gut, nothing will.
Why did he send it? In an email conversation, he explained that he thought I wanted to be "in the loop". I told him that, as long as Rosa didn't want me "in the loop", it hurt too much to be "in the loop". I know he wasn't being malicious. It was just a misunderstanding. Still, I couldn't help but wonder how he couldn't know that she'd shut me out. How weird! Not weird enough, it seems - he didn't even know about my letter to her. This made me worry that, maybe, she never got the letter. So, I wrote her a quick email saying, basically, "I understand if you don't want to reply to the letter but please let me know if you got it."
Anyway, once the emails were done, I tried to get back to work on the CDs. You know, proceed as normal - right! I ended up destroying half the contents of a CD and fell back on my bed, crying and crying. One box of Kleenex later, I went and bought a pack of smokes. I needed to calm down - smoking helps you do that.
Then, this morning, I had another nightmare. It was another one of those, "Ken, I don't want to marry you because I'm marrying Michael" kind of nightmares. Marry? Hell, Rosa won't even date me!
And so, I'm thrown back into the nightmare realm in one short day.