Thursday, November 20, 2003

Nothing much to say...

I don't have my usual focus today - that thing I have to write about - but I sometimes get people who bitch when I don't write (Hi, Tim!) so I figured I should...

Late night last night. I wanted to sleep but my mind kept working... and the topic it was working on was a four-letter word that began with an "R" and ended with an "osa"...

I was thinking a lot about dualities. We live in a world of dualities. Light and dark. Good and evil. Have and have not... and other Bogart films.

Try this with me. Complete this list:

Short and tall.
Bitter and Sweet.
Back and forth.
Ken and _________

You get the idea? You spend your life looking for that person to fill in the blank. The person who is everything you ever wanted.

What do you do when you aren't that person's fill in the blank? When you're not everything they ever wanted? Well, you don't have anyone. You remain alone.

In a world of couples and families - alone sucks.

The CDs are pretty much done. Now, duplication begins. And not a moment too soon! I leave for Oregon on Saturday!

Yes, I leave for Oregon on Saturday. I won't have computer access so you don't need to check for new entries until December. After returning, I will, in all likelihood, write "Thanksgiving Adventure 2003". Let me know if you want a copy.

It looks like I'm picking the most hazardous time to be on the road. If I end up dying from a car crash, due to driving off the road, skidding on ice, etc. etc. just remember not to refer to my vast intelligence at my funeral, let someone laugh so hard they spit scotch or a martini (the Official Drink of Ken's Funeral) on you.

Last night, another night of rehearsal and I nearly broke down crying. I'm surrounded by all these kids, some of them downright beautiful, surrounded by reminders of what I will never have, reminders of Rosa's abortion, reminders of Rosa's child, reminders of Rosa - and my heart is just ripped from my chest.

... I hate this play.

I'll be sure to write more happy thoughts tomorrow and then I'm off for the week!

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