Frustrations of life in the 21st Century…

Not to sound pompous or anything…

Last week, I decided it was time to get off my increasingly fat ass and get back in the theater. It was time! You bet! And the Hunger Artists Theater in Fullerton had an audition coming up for a show I'd be great in. The time had come! Would I go to the Monday auditions or the Tuesday auditions? Monday or Tuesday? I figured I'd decide on Monday morning. But I didn't procrastinate that much. Nope! I went to the Hunger Artists web site (which I'm not book marking here for reasons you soon understand) late Sunday night and thought about it… only to find that the auditions had been held earlier that evening…

Not acting, then.

But I need to get busy. You have no idea how weird my life is these days, after four years of hard work and pushing myself and replacing happiness with business! (I just looked that up and found that the act of being busy is no longer defined as "business"…. So let's say doing-a lot-of-stuff-iness…) Now, I have plenty of things I could write. Don't get me wrong! In face, here's a top 6 list of projects I could work on:

6. Actually write that play about people committing suicide! I had this great idea back in September and it fizzled out worse than most outdoor fizzly things...

5. Finish that Everything Changes rewrite. After all, I have it down to one line! I just have to find a place to put one line! How hard could that be??? (Since I started it last summer…. Pretty hard, I guess.)

4. Falling Together. Yes, the first screenplay I was going to write and never wrote. Funny stuff about broken people and their relationship.

3. Rich's book. Oh, wait. That's right. I can't. Rich and I were supposed to work on it together and I haven't heard from in an about a month… (Rich: HINT HINT!)

(By the way, for those who were wondering why I so rarely collaborate...)

2. Bard of the Dead. A new play idea I have…. That I won't tell you about until either someone gives me a cigarette or I actually write some of it!

And, finally…

1. Vampire Society. Hello! My last novel! I've been reading it for a couple of weeks now. I wrote 60,000 words and then stopped in mid-stride. Why? I can only surmise it was because a) because of my divorce, the final words coming around that time, or b) it is so incredibly good, I don't think I could ever do it justice.

Mind you, I've found plenty of errors thus far. But even the errors point me towards the impossible! You see, the errors that exist are only there because I wimped out as a writer. To write this thing (a manifesto on the evils of consumerism), you'd have to be absolutely fearless… not something I'm good at. In other words, to correct the errors in this book that is already far too good to complete, I'd have to be a better writer than I was back when I thought I could complete it.

Anybody got a smoke?

Oh, and that's another thing. I want a cigarette, dammit!

But, really, how can I do all of this when I have Half-Life2 AND 480-something issues of Amazing Spiderman waiting for me???

You want more? I got more! Vicky and I finally got the part of our Association Rules that we'd been missing last night. We didn't know we'd been missing them. (You never know what you don't have until you get it.) In it, we found out that we've been breaking all sorts of rules. Not least of which is the rule that says we can only have two pets… one we've already exceeded by 2.5 times!

Correction: I want a cigarette and a drink!