Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Smoking or... smoking?...

I've been smoking more lately. There are a lot of reasons for this.

This morning, I read an article on Slate.com that mentioned how homosexuals and childless straight people tend to smoke more. Why do people with children smoke less? Well: As a matter of fact, childless households (whether gay or straight) spend, on average, 56 percent more on cigarettes and alcohol than their childbearing neighbors. (Among households where the parents have some education, the discrepancy is even larger.) Nor is there anything mysterious about why. First, parents have extra reasons to live long and stay healthy, both so they can be there when their kids need them and so they can enjoy the company of their grandchildren. Second, parents have extra expenses—starting with diapers and continuing through college tuition—that leave less disposable income for cigarettes. Third, a lot of parents don't like the idea of smoking in front of their children.

Reading this made me think of a possible reason why I smoke. Perhaps it might have something to do with the fact that I devoted nearly half my life to a woman who didn't love me. I gave everything I had to a woman who didn't want me. I looked forward to a future with a woman who never wanted to have children with me and is now having a child with a man who doesn't (and, in all likelihood, never will) love her. And I can't see any future without her not filled with pain and torture.

Will that drive you to smoke? To all those who harp on me about it, you should be happy it's not crack!

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