Monday, June 28, 2004

Getting to know all about you...

And so we enter WEEK TWO of "Ken & Vicky".

As you might remember from last week's episode, week one was full of "you're great", "you're wonderful", and "you're PERFECT". (Yes, in capital letters.) Vicky and I both knew things were going rather fast and we were getting emotional entangled rather soon. We knew that we were too enamored to see things clearly. (Hell, we couldn't see straight!)

We even avoided at all costs any premature declaration of ultimate affection, the dreaded "I love you". We've come up with other sayings instead:
"You're not nearly as nauseating as some people."
"The sound of your voice hardly ever makes me want to scream."
"When I look at you, I almost never want to gouge my eyes out."

Ah, romance.

Of course, now that a week has passed, she's beginning to let down her guard and I'm finding out things about her that... would cripple weaker men. Try these on for size:
1) As previously stated, she owns the "Left Behind" series.
2) She likes NASCAR.
3) She had the "Honk if you're horny" bumper sticker on her car - in the 80's!
4) She likes guns.
5) She likes Houston, Texas.
and, lastly, 6) She ate deep-fried turkey at Thanksgiving.

Okay, so these are all silly things - except the gun thing, she'd better NEVER get one - and I know this. In fact, I told her that seeing these things helps make her more real to me. And, thankfully, I won't have to worry about my writing career ending... actually, I'd like to see it begin...

And so, week two begins with a return to reality. A scary return but a return nonetheless. And let's face it, I've encountered things far more terrifying than an unfortunate reading selection and culinary tastes that may seem too southern. Beside her warmth and kindness and genuine, honest affection, Vicky's love of NASCAR is, at most, pleasantly annoying.

Mind you, week two has only begun.

It's the week (or so I'm projecting) of "I love you anyway". With this in mind, I wrote my first poem in two years. It's a goofy little ditty, a reminder that my sarcasm hasn't been killed with kisses... thank god!

But I love you anyway...

You pumped eight bullets into my dad
But I love you anyway
You say this breathing thing is a fad
But I love you anyway
You drag your knuckles when you walk
and spit food on me when you talk
and sound like fingernails on chalk
But I love you anyway

You went out for a killing spree
But I love you anyway
You have the scruples of a flea
But I love you anyway
There are things about you I can't ignore
at times you can really be a bore
but then there's something else in store
But I love you anyway

Now and then, you like to eat human hearts
But I love you anyway
You bake them into the cutest tarts
But I love you anyway
You tell all your lies as if they were true
The devil can't hold a candle to you
It leaves without a single clue
But I love you anyway

I guess I should start to see someone else
But I love you anyway
Mind you, if I did, you'd probably kill me
But I love you anyway
So I'll just embrace my fate
You're awfully hard to hate
But keep the zombies you made in their crate
And I'll love you anyway.

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