Tuesday, December 07, 2004

What is it about $310,000 that makes me feel uneasy?...

Contrary to popular belief (and the fact that I was telling everybody), we didn't close on the house yesterday. Our lame-ass lender (who is blaming her lame-ass assistant), didn't get everything together in time and, so, the bank will be ready today.



Ready for me to sign my life away. Ready for me to assume the burden of a debt that nears a third of a million dollars.

And so I guess it should come as no surprise that I just want to crawl into a dark hole and not come out… ever… send down my Ben & Jerry's and a blanket… I'll be fine.

It started as I drove home yesterday. It wasn't a depression or sadness of any kind. It was just a general kind of malaise, a simple funk. I just thought, "I wanna lie down." So, I sat down in front of my PC, started up Diablo II: Lord of Destruction, and zoned out for four hours. Then, Vicky got home and I played for a couple more hours. I woke up this morning with no enthusiasm but, rather, just a desire to lie back down. I needed hugs and lots of them. Now, here I am at work, thinking I just want to put my head down.

A third of a million… that's a lot of money…

So, anyway, we're supposed to close today. I hope so. But, if we don't, let Vicky know that she should pick up some Ben & Jerry's and meet me under the bed.

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