Wednesday, October 22, 2003

Another day without NICOTINE!...

Okay, first of all, I don't see why they can't make cigarettes that don't kill. I mean, we've been to the moon for Chris'sake! We can make no-fat ice cream! Just One Cigarette!!!!!!

... um, I'm sorry.

Actually, the cravings haven't kicked it... yet. Oh, I know they will. They'll start by knocking and, before I know it, they'll be kicking in.

Last night was rather interesting as it was my first time to the gym in a long, long (too long) time. This lifestyle change is full-bore! (Or is it "full boar"?) I want to lose weight and stop smoking... I'm crazy. So, I biked for five miles and I jogged for a mile and a half. The jogging came first. I realized, about five minutes into it, why smokers don't jog! I was ready to start hacking out a lung but I retained my composure and faced every thought of how hard it was with the idea that this was only the beginning.

Then, after I got home, Keith stopped by. I had to tell him that I wouldn't be smoking and, if he was going to smoke, he'd have to do it outside and I couldn't join him. He said, "Hey, don't worry about it. If you're trying to stop, I'll support you. Do you want a cigarette?" Yep, that's the family sense of humor. But with nothing to do - before, we'd mostly jaw and smoke - he was a little uncomfortable and left relatively early... for him... 10:30pm.

When I woke up this morning, the coughing had just begun. Oh, I've gone through this before. I know that, when I stop smoking, I usually face about a week of coughing, as my body purges the icky smoking residues. I wasn't coughing, yet, but I could feel it starting.

You understand the difference between quitting and smoking, right? "Quitting" means you can never ever ever ever everner neverev nenveben neuvenbaum NEVER have another cigarette for the rest of your life. "Stopping" means you'll start again later... you just don't know when.

... I'm stopping.

... Which means I can start.

... Lunchtime sounds good.

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