Tuesday, May 11, 2004

My mom, ladies and gentlemen...

(I'm going to spare you the neurosis for a few minutes if you promise to help me out.)

So, I hooked my mom's PC up for Internet access this weekend. It was... challenging.

But I gave her my email address and was even going to give her the address for this here Blog... but something stopped me.

Think about it. What do I put in this Blog? Hardcore sexual themes? ("She slowly pressed against me as I read Plato and wondered why Rosa hadn't called.") Um... no. Graphic violence? ("The hot jacket of the .38 bullet shattered his spine as I read Sartre and wondered why Rosa hadn't called.") Er... no. Explicit vulgarities? ("Why the fuck doesn't Rosa call, goddammit!?")

Sure. But there's more than that.

My mom is what some people might call "a worrier".

Most people would say she's a crazy neurotic who spends her life wondering about the suffering her actions have brought her... but that's me. (And you wonder where I get it from!) Let's just say she's a worrier. ("She's a worrier.") She worries about everything - especially when it has to do with her children. She calls me to see if I'm sleeping! (Which is a real bitch because she often calls in the afternoon... when I'm sleeping.) (Just kidding!) She calls me to see if I'm eating. (Which is hard to do over the phone.)

So, just imagine your typical My Side. "I woke up this morning missing Rosa and thought about slitting my wrists/neck/toothpaste with my razor/scissors/toothbrush. Then, I cried for several hours." This is usually followed by some joke about myself or Shrub and continues with various self-destructive thoughts.

Do you think it's a good idea for my mom to read this shit???

Honestly, I'm asking your opinion. See, because I gave Blanche, my step-mom, the address to this Blog - even if she doesn't read it - so shouldn't I afford my mom the same courtesy? Also, is it right that I keep her from knowing what's going on? Am I selling her short?

I welcome your feedback/money/daughters of legal age and good looks.

Oh, and if you need another example of a typical My Side... just wait a couple hours.

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