Nothing to say... in as many words possible...
I don't really have anything to say today... and so, I'll say... nothing.
But first! You're probably wondering what's happening in the land of Ken (wake up!), so I'll tell you some of that.
The Third Annual "You Can Win a Date" with Ken La Salle contest has begun, wherein I beg women of all kinds to go out with me and they refuse. Yes, it's a smashing success once again.
Costa Mesa, CA. With another dead computer to his name, Ken goes to PC Club to buy a new one. And a fine one it is! Ken is happy as he walks out, knowing his PC will be built for him by the weekend and he'll soon be getting his emails like a good Christian, performing Google searches like a good Christian, and downloading pirated software and porn like a good Christian.
San Juan Capistrano, CA. Having just celebrated his one year anniversary with whiplash, Ken prepares to close out his bodily injury claim. Yes, it's been one year since the accident that claimed the life of Ken's rear fender, and soon he'll be getting up to $3000 for his trouble. That'll buy a lot of comic books, Ken thinks, but it's sure to be better invested into a house. (Grumble Brumble...)
Santa Ana, CA. Ken's rent is raised once again and the even property management company stands outside Ken's door, twisting their collective mustache and cackling in laughter. Ken falls to their feet. "What about the orphans?!" he cries. As everyone knows, however, Ken has no orphans. Those were cooked up long ago. Now, Ken's rent will be $1010/month. Ken once spent that amount on a bed - so it's like a King-sized bed every month....... shoved right up his ass!
(This has been MySideton News - a division of US Plus.)