Wednesday, February 18, 2004

An ode to baseball...

With the start of baseball season soon upon us, I thought I'd share a baseball story with you.

The last game I went to was last year with Sean. We got in our free seats, a gift to Sean, and they weren't as crappy as I thought they'd be, and settled back for the pre-game show: Sean pointing out which women had the best breasts. Sean's spectator sport is women, though he's very devoted to his wife. The funny thing is, he's such a pig that no woman other than his wife would want anything to do with him! (He's only a pig on the outside. On the inside, he's a terrier.) So, as I wait for the game to start, he pointing and talking bra sizes.

Then, the game starts... and we begin to talk. We're talking about work, our lives, our histories, music, movies - everything except the game. This was after Rosa dumped me - AGAIN - and, so, of course, I had plenty to talk about. When there's a good play, we talk about other games we saw with similar plays - never the game, mind you, but what our lives were like when we saw them: the price of hot dogs then or how the field was shaped different or how that was when we were in the sixth grade and Mork and Mindy was on TV... no, wait, that was the seventh grade.

By the fifth inning, I want a cigarette. So, I look all around but don't see a single "No Smoking" sign... but I also don't see anyone else smoking... but it is an outdoor stadium... but this is Orange County... but I do want a cigarette. So, I take out a cigarette and just hold it... UP! I point with it. I juggle it. I do everything I can to make sure everyone around me knows what's coming! Then, satisfied when nobody voices opposition, I light up... and am immediately flogged by the voices of the irate OrangeCountesians who can't believe I would so endanger their existence! They scream! They cuss! They threaten! Finally, I get up and say, "Okay, you fucking Nazis, I'm going! You'll notice there's no sign saying I can't smoke and that we're outdoors but fuck that - who wants to sit next to YOU!" And I walk quickly away, over to the stairs.

Sean comes out a minute later, saying, "I don't think we should sit back down there."

I offer to buy him a drink, where they're watching a different game. I make a joke about how silly it is to watch one game while you're at another... and we decide we'd better not sit there, either. Yep, I was popular that day.

So, we start walking the perimeter of the field, right around all the food stands, watching this play or that, talking about everything... until the game was over.

For us, the baseball game was a place to be rather than a thing to see. Now, I wouldn't do that at a movie. But do you know how some people go to Disneyland with the intent on getting as much in as they can in the time they have while others just enjoy it and, maybe, get a ride in... well, I guess that's me.

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