Monday, February 16, 2004

Status Report...

My god, I haven't written since Friday? Jeez!

Well, my sickness has waned. I'm feeling a bit healthier. My fever is gone but I'm still coughing a bit.

Saturday night was horrible. A fever so high I couldn't move except to writhe in my bed from the pain. I was hallucinating visions of Rosa. I couldn't sleep and it was all I could do not to cry out her name. I kept thinking that, maybe, I might die... hell, I was hoping!

It's been nearly four years since I lost Rosa. For those of you who might think that I still miss her or maybe that I regret losing her, let me clarify things. Her absence is not just a negative. Being on this earth without her in my life is a constant source of agony, physical agony. Continued existence is torture.

I'm not kidding.

And it pisses me off.

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