Monday, February 23, 2004

The worst person to be mad at is yourself...

I'm really mad at myself right now.

I came back from lunch and saw Chris and Sarah returning from lunch. It's not important for you to know who they are, people from work, and it's not like they're dating or romantically involved; they just went to lunch. The thing that makes me so mad is that I couldn't do that. I can't just ask someone to lunch or just talk to someone.

I tend to think that I don't have anything that important to say - hard to believe considering this blog - or that anyone would be interested in spending time with me. Oh, sure. I don't say it like that. I think, "They're obviously busy. Why waste their time." or "They probably have other things they'd rather be doing." I can't just go up to people.

... and it makes me so mad. No wonder I'm isolated from the world. No wonder I'm so alone! I exist in a world removed from the real world, a world apart, and while others have their lunches and make friends and don't suffer from loneliness, I watch and wish I could be invited.

The obvious response to this is, "It's your life. If you want it to change, do something about it."

Sure. And if you want to be able to fly, you should be able to do something about that, too. Just start small. Jump off curbs and boxed, working your way up to the tops of cars and the roofs of small homes. Then, build up to parking structures and cliffs! Eventually, you'll be flying!

And you'll probably die in the process.

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