Monday, November 01, 2004

Stephanie - Stephanie - Stephanie…

I just got a great email from Stephanie… but I still can't write back to her and tell her how funny it is because there's something screwy with her email. So, I'll tell her here.

Steph, there's something screwy with your email!

And what's this email about? Well, it's called "As I Mature"… here are some excerpts…

As I Mature

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs. (I'd add "Or a whole lot of money".)

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you're finished. (Vicky can vouch.)

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities. (And possibly either white or rich. All three is a Trifecta!)

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