Friday, November 12, 2004

A word or two about Negativity...

But first, a few words on ice cream:

Ooooooooh… ice cream…

Had a couple interesting dreams last night and here are a couple of quotes from them:

"Don't make me angry. I wouldn't like you when I'm angry."

"Know myself? Do I know myself? Why, I know myself so well, I finish my own sentences!"

These dreams were interrupted by two things. The first time I was interrupted, I was awoken violently. Why was I awoken violently? Because Vicky, turning over, whipped around and hit me in the mouth with her elbow!... It hurt. The second time, the alarm went off. It went off very loudly and I opened my eyes, wondering when Vicky would turn it off - the alarm being on her side of the bed. Vicky woke up, too. Looking at me… wondering when I'd turn off the alarm. That lasted for several minutes. "Are you going to get up," she asked. "I was just wondering when you'd turn off the alarm," I answered.

Now, I've been rather surprised at the number of comments on the My Side about negativity. It would seem that most readers of this Blog tend to think I'm negative. It would also seem that some of them would prefer to remain anonymous… fearing my vengeful wrath, I guess. Look. If you're going to make a comment, the least you could do is sign your name to a comment. If you can't do that, the least you could do is use a name that hints at your real identity.

Tim Murphy signs his as "Fred Mertz"… cause he looks like Fred Mertz.

Tim Clostio signs his as "reporter66"… cause he'll work as a reporter again when he's 66.

Vicky signs hers as "PrincessVicky"… which means I'm in an awful lot of trouble.

Now, I'm not talking about the anonymous guy who said he wasn't me… cause he was obviously Tommy Flunagan. I wanna know who the person was who reads My Side BECAUSE it's so negative. Who's that smartass?

Look, I've gotten through a whole lot in the last four years: the end of my marriage, losing Rosa, a nervous breakdown, a near suicide, overcoming the loss of Rosa, finding someone who I love (yes, that would be Vicky), the mixed emotions I have towards marriage even as I asked Vicky to marry me, and the possibility of losing another home even as I ready myself to buy another one. Through it all, I've dealt with things in a manner both hopeful for future survival and aware of tragic missteps in the past. Some would choose to call that manner negative but I look at things very differently. I call it perseverance. I call it endurance. I call it… an attempt at hope without ignorance.

Vicky says that my "negativity" comes in the form of statements I make, such as "After the things I've done, I don't know if I deserve happiness." She calls this negativity. I call it accountability. In a society where personal accountability is insignificant, where we can kill innocents and torture the survivors, I don't think of this as a bad thing. At my most arrogant, I even consider this setting a good example.

And you call this negativity.

For shame!

…. Now, most My Sides are usually written with tongue - to varying degrees - in cheek… I guess it's up to you to determine to what degree this is the case today...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm no one you know, we're not friends and have never met. I just stumbled upon this BLOG one day, and now read it from time to time. You asked for opinions and I gave mine. There was no intent behind the comment, I was just being honest.

Ken said...

Well, hey, KEEPING READING! You'll want to stick around to find out who wins in the fight to the death between Cameron Crowe and Russell Crowe... ever notice how they're never both in the same place at the same time?... SPOOKY!

(Okay, so I'm tickled I have a reader who I haven't paid off...)

Fred Mertz said...

Anything but negative? It is all in the perspective.

reporter66 said...

I think all that matters is that we love you, no matter what you do with the pitches aimed at you in life. We want you to be as a happy as we are Dammit! Well at least how we percieve happiness. After thinking about it, type the words "I Am Happy", and I'll surely change my negativity score...