Tuesday, March 02, 2004

Monday, Monday...

Da da, da da da da....

(cough) Excuse me.

I went into my boss's office today and said, "Mike, I've found a way for us to save time and money to such a degree that I think a raise might just be in order." Then, I told him.

And he said - in the most unimpressed voice I've heard since the last time I told anyone I was an actor - "That's right. I've got to do your review before May."

I could barely walk out before my face slid off my skull.

That night, rehearsal. Again! Things have been getting progressively worse as we get further along in the play and my character gets progressively worse. As I've mentioned, this is a bad man. What makes it worse is that Teri does not want me to play him evil. It's easier to play a person as evil than to play rotten and Teri won't let me take the easy way out.

So, last night was spent beating my wife in the play, Karen.

And by the time it was over, I was ready to hurl. My stomach was upset. My head was frazzled.

I took Teri aside after and told her all about my feelings for this character. I said, "I hate this character." And after that, there was no stopping me. Out came this stream of vitriol and fear. Thankfully, Teri understood and she says she'll help me as much as she can.

She said, "I know you like to immerse yourself into a character, and that has to make this rather uncomfortable."

That took me by surprise. "You do? Did I tell you that?"

"No," she replied. "I see you doing it already."

Right then, the floor came up, danced on my shoulders, and shook me by the scruff of the neck.

I'm already doing it? I'm already becoming Howard Holt?


Sometimes I wish I was better at denial because I'd save myself a lot of time going right into stark terror. A voice in the back of my head said, "What happens now, Ken? How paper-thin is your will that a fictional character can take it over? Think he'll have the guts to jump?" Over the canyon.

Then, I told her I'd do my best, went out to my car, and drove home.

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