Something to Preview...

Last night was the Preview performance of Something to Hide. Preview performances are basically final dress rehearsals where you invite some friends and family to stop by and watch it and tell you how great it was afterwards... even if it stank.

... It was... an interesting show...

First off, let me tell you that our show runs long. How long? Well, usually I only have to shave once a week and, having shaved that morning, I had to shave by intermission! It was long! About 150 minutes long! Sitting in the green room with the other actors during the final scenes, I thought I heard people in the audience snoring.

It was the other actors.

I suppose I should have known it would be an interesting show when I said the line "Disguised handwriting, cheap notepaper" as "Cheap handwriting, disguised notepaper"... it should have warned me.

Then, I had a scene with Miss Cunningham and, towards the end, she lost it. Lost what? Oh, touch with reality, her marbles - take your pick. She just stood there, gaping at me. I tried feeding her lines... no help. Finally, she burst out with, "I suppose I should go!" Yes, I agreed, you should.

Then, in comes the Inspector and, starting the scene, he immediately jumps to the end of the scene - and it's a long scene, folks! Then, he jumps to the beginning. Then, to the middle. Then, to the end. Meanwhile, I'm taking a roller coaster ride!

Later, Julie steps off the stage and says to me, "I don't know what the hell's going on out there!"

Oh, it was fun.

But it wasn't over.

My mom, Keith, and his son (my nephew) Cliff had come and were sitting in the front row. When it came time for my bow, they all stood. Sit down, I thought. Please sit down. No, they kept standing and clapping. I felt like such a dork.

Afterwards, Teri gave me some notes. One of the things she said was, "You know, you're going to have to help the Inspector out there."

"Huh?"

"The reality of the situation is here you are at (she wrote down 30) and here he is at (she wrote 73) and he's not as mentally agile as you." Mentally agile? My brain can't walk and chew gum without falling down!

I pointed at her paper. "You know I'm not that young."

"Fine," she said. She scratched out 30 and wrote 35.

Folks, at 38, I don't easily fall for flattery.

"We open tomorrow. You don't have much of a choice," she said.

Okay. That I fall for.

.... It's gonna be fun!